About me

It's me!! This photo cracks me up - I had NO idea

my friend V was taking it! (At an exhibit for the 

SCAR Project)

As I look back over the years as an adult, I realize how my thyroid health has changed so many things in my life. Unfortunately, hindsight is 20/20 and back then I didn't have any idea what was going on.

In 1999, I was diagnosed as hypothyroid at my 6 week check-up after the birth of our firstborn. It didn't surprise me because my mom is hypothyroid. It kind of freaked me out when they exclaimed how fortunate I was not to have lost our baby because my numbers were through the roof but because I was used to seeing my mom take a pill everyday, I took the prescription and didn't question it. For years afterward, I had symptom after symptom pop up but was always given a different diagnosis: IBS, PCOS, etc. If only I had known then...

Fast forward, in 2006, I had genetic testing and was told I have a mutated BRCA 2 gene. This means my chances of developing breast, ovarian, and other cancers are high. MUCH higher than an average person without the mutation. In 2007, I had a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy. In 2011, I had an oopherectomy and hysterectomy. While these decisions were not easy, I always made my choices based on what was right for me and what would give me the greatest chance of being around as long as possible for my family.

In the fall of 2010, I was pulled off running because of fractured shins - no, not shin splints, fractures. It was painful - I had lived in pain for a year because of a doctor telling me I was too fat to play soccer and run. I believed her but I wasn't ready to give it up so I continued and just told myself the pain was the cost of wanting to be active. I finally couldn't take it anymore and saw a different doctor who was appalled at how far I had let it go. As I went through daily physical therapy to recover, I learned to take it slow and pulled myself off of running a few more times when I had gone too far too soon. I would let my body rest and heal and start back at it. 

The summer of 2012 I was enjoying life. I felt I had conquered old demons and was moving along. I was working hard at working out but, at the same time, applying lessons I had learned previously and making sure to listen to my body and support it. I was lifting weights because I am in menopause and I am told this is the best way to prevent osteoporosis. I was practicing yoga because I have found this is a great way to center my mind and stretch my muscles. I had recently picked up zumba because I wanted something different and I love to dance. And, yes, I was running. Running is a great source of stress relief and it exhilarates me. On a Saturday, I had gone for a two mile run, went to a friend's baby shower, dropped the littles at my parents' house, and went to a friend's volleyball party. I vividly remember thinking that day how happy I was and how much I loved my life.

The next morning, I could barely think straight. I described it in my blog as tingling all over and trying to move through molasses. I was too tired to do anything but lay horizontal. It was truly unlike anything I had ever experienced and it scared both my husband and I, though I couldn't form a sentence at that point to voice my fear. I am incredibly thankful because, even though I had never experienced this before, I knew my thyroid had crashed. I truly believe it was divine intervention that pressed that upon my mind. I had been working with my gp for at least six months trying to regulate my thyroid levels. Since my ooph/hyst, he had been unable to stabilize me. I would get calls asking if I was taking my medication everyday - of course I was! I had been taking it for 13 years! He would increase my medication one visit and drop it down the next. At the time of my crash, we were trying a new dosage in between.

I am not fully recovered yet. I am trying to find my optimal dose of medication and have hit bumps along the way but I am leaps and bounds better than I was in August, I believe I am on the right path. 

There are times where I truly feel the medical field has failed me. Over the years, I kept presenting myself and my problems to my doctors and they never took the time to find out why. Why was I unable to walk by the end of my day? Why was I unable to sleep? Why am I in so much pain? Why am I gaining so much weight? It was one prescription after another without ever getting to the root of the problem and never truly fixing anything. 

In December, I made a difficult choice. I had my implants from the reconstruction of my mastectomy removed. For the past couple years, they have been giving me discomfort and pain. I had conversations with my doctors but no one could give me a reason why this would be happening. Ironically, I made the definitive choice to have them removed and was telling my husband it was time and, in the next moment, opened lab results I had tricked a nurse into running for me and found I have Hashimoto's hypothyroidism, an autoimmune disease. My best guess was my body began seeing my implants as something to attack. Almost immediately after the implant extraction, I could feel the difference.

I am telling you all of this to encourage you. You live in your body everyday. Your doctor does not. Doctors are highly educated but they do not live in your skin. Become your own expert. Listen to what your body is telling you. Take action on what you feel is the best option for you. 

I am incredibly thankful. I have a gp who does not know much about hypothyroidism, even less about Hashimoto's but is willing to partner with me. I research and learn and formulate what I want to try. He listens and tells me what he knows that would support or discount my plan. He runs labs for me so we can see what my blood is trying to tell us. We are trying to do this together but the responsibility for research falls on me. In a perfect world, I would be able to go to a doctor who specializes in this and that doctor would know exactly what to do. I don't have that luxury. But, at the same time, having to take responsibility for my Hashi's has kicked my butt into gear with the rest of my health too.